What are you teaching?

Today I was reading the Purpose Driven Life eDevotional.  It was speaking about how we teach with our lives.

 

I have begun to consider what my life may have been teaching and what I want it to teach.

 

Interestingly, I had a friend in high school who knew I was going to be a teacher (a good teacher, she said).  So she gave me a brass apple hook.  I have had it everywhere I have lived since high school and it has been a reminder to me of how one person saw me and also a reminder of her.

 

I may not be a teacher by profession now, but like each person I meet, I teach with my life.  This was an enlightening thing for me, as I have been struggling with how to get back to being a teacher.

 

What are you teaching?

 

From: http://dailyspiritualguide.com/

I enjoyed this thought this morning and thought I would share it. We so often get caught up in the idea of success. I sometimes wander what life would be like if I did such or the other and only in recent months have decided that I need not be well known or do anything huge to be of value.

Value
Things are to be valued not for their bigness or littleness, but for their ability to perform the task for which they were made.
A tiny screw in a precious watch is less admired than its jewels and precious metals. And yet the running of the watch may depend more on the screw than on the jewels or metals. God loves the man who knows how to value his achievement in life, and sees it as his participation in God's total work of creation.
Such a man is at peace with himself and others because he is content with his portion of reality and his opportunity to make that portion useful.
"My Daily Life"Anthony J. Paone, S.J.

What Would I Want

So, this week I have been reading alot about LOVE and specifically Jesus teachings on LOVE, as well as what he called the greatest commandments.

And it dawned on me today that perhaps Jesus pointed us in a direction that we have not considered before. We often ask "What Would Jesus Do," but based on his teaching about the greatest commandments I think a more specific response might be "What Would I Want?" especially when we deal with other people.

Letting Go

Let us imagine that life is a river. Most people are clinging to the bank, afraid to let go and risk being carried along by the current. At a certain point, each person must be willing to simply let go, and trust the river to carry him or her along safely. At this point he learns to "go with the flow" and it feels wonderful.
Once he has gotten used to being in the flow of the river, he can begin to look ahead and guide his own course onward, deciding where the course looks best, steering his way around boulders and snags, and choosing which of the many channels and branches of the river he prefers to follow, all the while still 'going with the flow."
'Creative Visualization"by Shakti Gawain

Coming Out

I found this comment from my daily meditation quite meaningful and as tomorrow (yesterday) is National Coming Out day, I thought I would share it and a few more thoughts I had.

Sometimes when I think of the image of the crucifixion, I see Matthew Shepard's broken body on a kind of cross, abandoned outside of town. Both men, Jesus and Matthew, were innocent victims of a society that freely and publicly discriminates against and does violence to those who do not meet its expectations of what is "right." Both men, Jesus and Matthew, suffered to the point of death not because they'd done something horrifically wrong, but because they were different and because of the unwillingness of others to accept them/us as they/we are.
-Keith Phillips, http://www.JesusMCC.org/bestill/

I was reflecting on this insight and began to think about how I have been discriminated against myself and I honestly don't think that discrimination has contributed as much to my current state in life as my own decisions. I was in deed thrown out into the world before I could figure out what being gay meant for my life, but I made the decisions I made on my way to discovery. Now that I know who I am and what purpose I have in life, I simply have to work through the consequences of my previous decisions and go from there.
I cannot say in any way I have faced the kind of discrimination that those who came before me have or that those in certain parts of the world or even the US face, but the little bit I have faced makes me feel for them more deeply as I realize how much more difficult their lives have been/are.

Relationships

Relationships are an important part of who we are.  They can determine our success and failure at times.  I can actually attribute my current job to one of my friends.  I got my waiting job because I knew her and it was at that job, I met the person who hired me for this job.

 

Our human relation ships also affect our relationship with God.  This has been a theme in both of my readings this week.  As I was reading the character studies in The Life Application Bible, I came to Samson and Delilah.  Samson was given great skill and strength by God to serve him, but it was his relationship with Delilah that brought him to ruin.

 

In The Power of Intention, the chapter I was reading was also about relationships.  However it was about how our we affect other people’s relationships with the creative power of the universe through our actions.

 

Mahatma Gandhi summed it up best when he said, “We must be the change we want to see in the world.” 

 

 

Understanding? G-d

I was writing a response to someone’s email this morning and I thought it might be a good post for my little blog.

 

I have been considering for some time now how to explain my understanding of God.

 

I have always believed, even when I was more conservative in my thinking

that G-d was a G-d of logic and order and that G-d acts in creation through

the "laws" by which it was formed.

 

I think that the more we learn about the world we live in, the more we learn

about the Creator and the necessity of such.

 

I have met many people who would set aside logic and reason in their

understanding of G-d, but I have found that it is these G-d given faculties

that draw me to the knowledge and understanding of G-d's existence.

 

In my recent reading and meditation, I have been discovering the concepts

You(the acquaintance I was conversing with) spoke about regarding "we are what we eat."  Our lives are ruled by G-d's creative laws and it is our ability to understand and follow those "laws" which has us reaping what we sow.  Whether we like it or not we are all interconnected on this great big ball and we are all much better off when we seek to be the best persons we can be.

 

By no means do I think G-d plays no role in changing us.  The very fact that

we believe G-d exist impacts our lives and affects how we live.

 

I am sure I could go on and be much less articulate and add quotes and

examples, but it is time for work.  Have a great day everyone!

 

Growing...

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional,

growing spiritually is up to you.

 

 

Today

I was reading a character study of the high priest Eleazar in The Life Application Bible when I came across this sentence:

 

Concentrating on our present challenges and responsibilities is the best way to prepare for what God has planned for our future.

 

I have not read anything in a while that I agree with more.  Life seems to run much more smoothly when I focus on day to day rather than next year or the next 10 years, etc.  Not that I don’t have goals, but that I live today looking forward rather than trying to live in the future now.  It takes time for some things to come together and we cannot rush them no matter how much we would like to do so.

 

Bill Cosby has said:

 

The past is a ghost, the future a dream;

All we ever have is now.

 

Caleb: Firsthand knowledge is best

It has been a while since my last post and I do apologize to those (if any) who are following these bloggings.

 

Between the new puppy and the litter of kittens I am fostering at the moment, I have had some very hectic mornings.  I thought I would stop today to share about something I was reading yesterday, which I find very valuable at least in looking back.

 

I was reading a character study of Caleb in The Life Application Bible.  Caleb was among the men chosen to go into the promise land and see it prior to the Israelites attempting to enter.  They found that it was “flowing with milk and honey” and Caleb along with one lone compatriot called on Israel to enter and take the land.  The majority of the party however, did not.  They were afraid of the “giants” who lived there.

 

What really struck me was the author’s comments about how various people came to their fear.  The party who entered the land came by it first hand from seeing the people.  Israel however, came to their fear secondhand by believing what the majority of those reporting said. 

 

As I pondered this, I was reminded how much of what I have practiced in my life has been based on my own indoctrination of what others believed...what I got secondhand.  When I decided to be a Christian at age 10, I did so not out of education or encouragement, but as a result of my own curiosity and study…I came to this decision firsthand.  That’s why I have clung to my faith even after some who would share it rejected me.

 

After becoming a Christian and sharing this with my family, I was encouraged to join the church and my indoctrination began.  I don’t believe religious education is a bad thing, but I do believe that in most respects it is handled as a means to teach our beliefs rather than help people discover their own.   Out of a desire to learn and grow, I don’t think this thought ever crossed my mind more than once or twice.  Most of what I learned in the church came as a result of someone else’s understanding of God (secondhand) and not my own study or experience. When I felt I was in disagreement with the majority about something I usually found myself “corrected” as a result of asking people for advice or reading material and getting the one side they wanted me to believe.

 

My challenge to you is to obtain your belief firsthand, do not rely on someone else’s experience and belief to guide you.  Otherwise you will wander in the desert for 40 years like the Israelites or in the wilderness for 22 as I did.

 

The Body of Christ

I really had not made the connection until this morning, which shows how well my brain is functioning at 6 am, but…

 

This week in Reconciling Journey the meditations have been on The Body of Christ aka the church.  A couple of days ago it asked the question “What are your expectations of the church?” which I mentioned yesterday.  Today it was on how we are all still part of the body whether we are present or not.  We are part of the body even if we chose to not be in a particular congregation for whatever reason.  It has certainly reminded me why I crave to be part of a congregation, but still leaves me wandering if I am in the right one.

 

Once I told people why I was not at church they were eager to know more about the situation, which was both annoying and relieving at the same time.  And some offered to help, but I am still somewhat stuck on my expectation that the church would have cared to find out what was going on with me prior to me finally breaking down and telling them.  Four months is a long time to be away and no one show any concern and I wander if I had not said something if they would have just let me disappear into oblivion.

 

Today’s meditation was on what decision we make when the church has let us down.  We have a few options and I am still wavering on mine.

 

How to pick a church

I am really not sure of this myself.  I always thought the idea was to find the one that most matched your philisophical/theological views and provided you an opportunity to use your spiritual gifts

 

In this respect I think I have a good church, though I am now uncertain if I wish to continue to be a member.  I am praying that I will know how to deal with “church” and what reasonable expectations I should have.

 

One expectation I have always had and assumed was reasonable was that my church care whether or not I was there.  Or better yet that they seemed genuinely concerned about your spiritual well-being.  If they are concerned for your well-being, then I would think they would notice your absense and attempt to find out what is going on.

 

I am not sure if this a reasonable expectation or not, but it is one I have always had.  I cannot say I have ever found a church where this really seemed true and I am not sure if it is because I have usually been on staff or because churches just don’t care about the average person.  The “lost”, the sick, the elderly, sure, but the avg person who is healthy and working and has a relationship with the Creator?

 

This is where I am at the moment.  I want to be part of a body where I can use my gifts and talents, but I am not sure if I am in the right one at the moment and I am not sure if I can bear to go back until I do.

 

People surprise me some times

I thought I’d share this on both my blogs because it is exciting for me.

 

I mentioned earlier on LJ that I was found by a friend who I am in contact with periodically.  I wanted to share how significant this is for me.  I have had many friends, but only a hand full of just extraordinary friends who were as concerned for me as I am for them and on whom I have been able to lean during crisis.

 

She is one of those…the only one I did not try dating before I realized I was gay.  She was the first person from my years as a Southern Baptist I came out to and she was not surprised.  I actually was not certain I had told her until she reminded me.  I have not really made it a point to go out searching for people to tell.  She seemed supportive, but what I found out today was simply amazing to me.  She and her husband are members of a More Light Presbyterian church.  For those of you who do not know this is the Baptist equivalent of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists.

 

She said they wanted their kids (who are adorable by the way) to grow up in an environment where being who you are was considered normal, regardless of who you are.

 

For those of you who are not on LJ, she and I went to the Philippines at the same time to serve with the International Mission Board before Seminary.

 

I am more often surprised by people than I expected.

 

What a character!

As I mentioned a while back I am reading the little character studies in the Life Application Bible.  Today was Laban.  He is not one of those people we think about a lot in terms of Biblical figures, but we can learn something from him.

 

Like most of these studies I have read, I can see a little of myself in him.  I guess it is the human nature that comes through in these Biblical characters that makes them so similar to us despite all our advances in many arenas since that time.

 

I am reminded from Laban’s story of how often I have been most concerned for what I get out of something or from someone.  This is less and less true, but it is still something that I have to watch, just as each of us has to watch out for our own selfish desires.

 

More on Reconciling Journey

Today, once again, I was reminded by this lovely little book of a pasage that reflects who we are in Chirst. It is not bout who others say we are, but who we are because of our relationship witht he Cretive power of the universe.

Romans 8:31-39

God’s Love in Christ Jesus
31 What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us? 32He who did not withhold his own Son, but gave him up for all of us, will he not with him also give us everything else? 33Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.* 35Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36As it is written,‘For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.’ 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You are who you are...

Normally, I only post the spiritual stuff to my spiritual blog at http://joyfulDisciple.blogspot.com/

However, since my quote of the day blended so nicely with everything else going on the last couple of days, I thought I would cross post to my fun, everyday life journal at http://cartierobert.livejournal.com/

Last night I was contemplating how I got to where I am and it occurred to me that I have kind of taken the easy path than make any hard decisions. I was not the person I was meant to be, but the person my decisions and circumstances made me.

This morning my character study was on Lot. Lot was much the same. He always took the easy way, rather than make hard decisions (when he made any at all.) I typically have been a lot (ha) like Lot. Interestingly, Lot is considered by New Testament Christians as a man of faith despite the very wrong directions his life took, so perhaps there is hope for us all yet.

Streisand’s quote below speaks about the very thing I was contemplating last night as well.

“A human being is only interesting if he's in contact with himself. I learned you have to trust yourself, be what you are, and do what you ought to do the way you should do it. You have got to discover you, what you do, and trust it.”

—Barbra Streisand (b. 1942), singer, actress

This is the idea which was also been brought up in my meditations from Reconciling Journey. The following are passages from the Bible which reiterate this concept that we are what we were meant to be (at least if we try rather than let life decide for us). God has a reason for who we are. We often forget about these words as we try to reconcile faith and being GLBT and focus on trying to reason the other passages that people try to clobber us with.

Isaiah 45:9-12

Woe to you who strive with your Maker, earthen vessels with the potter! Does the clay say to the one who fashions it, “What are you making”? or “Your work has no handles”? Woe to anyone who says to a father, “What are you begetting?” or to a woman, “With what are you in labor?”

Thus says the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker: Will you question me about my children, or command me concerning the work of my hands? I made the earth, and created humankind upon it; it was my hands that stretched out the heavens, and I commanded all their host.

Psalm 139

O Lord, you have searched me and known me.

You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.

You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.

Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.

If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,”

even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.

How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!

I try to count them—they are more than the sand; I come to the end—I am still with you.

O that you would kill the wicked, O God, and that the bloodthirsty would depart from me—

those who speak of you maliciously, and lift themselves up against you for evil!

Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.

See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Observations

I decided to put the thoughts on the rest of The Power of Intention chapter 2 in a seperate psot, as it is much more personal and relates to something my neighbor said the other day. I was trying to decide how this shirt looked on me. I couldn't decide if it was nice or if it made me look fat and old. She said it better without even thinking. "It excentuates your curves." The author in the last part of the book gets at this idea of looking at things from a different percpective.

"Be like a MIRROR," not judging. Love people, including YOURSELF without making the judgment of fat, short, green, whatever the case may be.

Inspiration

I have always had a slight interest in Francis of Assisi as he has always been associated with animals and I love animals myself. But I did not know that this prayer is credited to him until I was reading the second chapter in The Power of Intention. It was primairly about what intention resembles or looks like and amazingly, as I mentioned before it sounds a great deal like God.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

I am finding some excellent quotes and excerpts from other writers in this book. From Walt Whiman's Song of Myself:

I hear and behold God in every object, yet understand God not in the least, Nor do I understand who there can be more wonderful than myself. Why should I wish to see God better than this day? I see something of God each hour of the twenty-four, and each moment then, In the faces of men and women I see God, and in my own face in the glass, I find letters from God dropt in the street, and every one is sign'd by God's name, And I leave them where they are, for I know that wheresoe'er I go, Others will punctually come for ever and ever.

Faith

I got my new devotional/meditation book yesterday and started it this morning. I wish I had found it in 2001, but it didn’t come out until 2003 and I only found it a few weeks ago. It's called Reconciling Journey by Michal Anne Pepper.

It is more a journey of discovering who you are spiritually, than a defense of being gay like so many books on being gay and Christian.

The first week is about the faith experience. The author points out that the words in Greek for Faith (noun) and Believe (verb) are the same in today’s meditation. It is a nice reminder.

I found the wording of the NRSV interesting in today’s Biblical texts.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. ²Indeed, by faith our ancestors received approval. ³By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was made from things that are not visible. Hebrews 11:1-3

The bold parts are particularly interesting as that last phrase relates so much to what I am reading in The Power of Intention. Everything is part of the same creative energy (God)...the invisible.

My neighbor who is a nurse made the interesting observation the other day, which was new to me, but apparently a person’s weight drops 28 grams immediately after death, as if something is leaving the body. At the very least it leads one to believe that our physical person is not all that there is to us.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, ²looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

I believe that the bold phrase above is where many of us GLBT Christians hit a road block in our faith at times. We just don’t feel that there is a cloud of witnesses who share in our faith or approve of it as the case may be. We are not certain that these are our ancestors. As I look back on my own heritage and the Judeo-Christian tradition, I do see the connection but only after several years of examination. Perhaps this study would have made this easier as it seeks to make the Spiritual rather than Defensive connection to our faith.

Adam and Eve

I finished A Cup of Life and am awaiting my new devotional material from Amazon.  During the gap, I am reading the character studies (if you can really call them studies…more like glimpses) in the Life Application Bible.

 

The story of Adam and Eve offered some valuable insight which is particularly applicable the last several months and more specifically this week.

 

1. You can’t blame others for how things turn out….you have a choice.
2. be happy with what you have.  Don’t forget all that has been given you and focus on the one thing that has not.

 

 

 

The Power of Intention - Chapter One

I am reading a new book that I got on freecycle. I started the first chapter and found it interesting and appealing enough that I am considering buying some of the author's (Wayne W Dyer) other books.

So far it seems to me that what he is referring to as Intention is what we sometimes refer to as predestination or perhaps God's will. He keeps referring to Intention as the direction of the omni-present creative force or Source gives our lives.

He even goes to lengths to defend the existence of both Intention and Free Will, which drew me even further to the conclusion he was almost speaking of Predestination. I happen to agree with much of what he said about the possibility of the coexistence of Free Will and Intention (aka Predestination).

He brings up the idea about the Spark of the Divine that keeps coming up in my reading. There is a spark of the Source in each of us and for that matter in all creation and if we yield to it, we can find our "happy place"...our purpose or meaning in life. Plants and animals fulfill their Intention.

It is reminding me of many ideas I got from Living Buddha, Living Christ.

He makes a statement which I have believed true, though not always learned from, that our ego is what prevents us from living out our Intention or in Christian lingo..following God's will. He quoted Castaneda again, "Having lost hope of ever returning to the source of everything, the average man seeks solace in his selfishness."

It is our Free Will that gets in the way of fulfilling our Intention. Intention is the best that we can be, but our own ego can get in the way of us reaching that Intention. Man is the only creature that has this issue and it is because of that unique piece we possess, which trees and bunnies do not. I think it is the soul. I believe that while the rest of creation will return to the Source, we will maintain our continued idividuality along side of God.

Quotes

The following quotes are related to the book I am currently reading, The Power of Intention, which I will be discussing later today.

 

“Every beauty which is seen here below by persons of perception resembles more than anything else that celestial source from which we all come…”

 

-Michelangelo

 

“Self-realization means that we have been consciously connected with our source of being…”

 

-Swami Paramananda

 

It's never too late?

It should be out to the left but, in case you don’t see it, here is today’s FBL Quote of the day:

 

“It's never too late to be what you might have been. ”

—George Eliot [Mary Ann Evans] (1819-1880), novelist

I find it interesting how things just seem to all come together sometimes.  I think it is about recognizing the work of the Omni-present Creative Power of the universe as the writer of my current book says.  I refer to this power as God.  He comes close to it, but usually just comes ever so close as not to say it.

 

It’s about looking for God to speak and listening.  This quote just seemed to relate so strongly to me and the post I made a few days ago about my conversation with my friend.  Of course, now I must determine (as if I did not know) what it is I might have been under other circumstances and how I am going to arrive there now.

 

 

A thought to ponder...

Today's quote from the Foundation for Better Living was, “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”



I have been considering for some time, how I might get back into the ministry, now that I am back in the right place Spiritually.



It reminded me of a conversation I had with a dear friend a few weeks ago. My friend is not particularly religious, but he said basically the same thing to me.



He suggested that I had some thoughts and ideas which need to be shared that others want to hear. He's the 3rd person to suggest I start a church in North Fulton. It is something I have considered, but at the same time, I am causious, because I am not interested in defending my faith or becoming a spokesman for GLBT Christians, which is what I feel I would inevitably have to do as a gay Pastor.



I simply want to provide a place for people to worhsip and ask questions...where people can be comfortable as they seek God for themselves.

Song of the day - Walk On

Some find their solace in a bottle of gin

Some find it still better when their horse comes in

It's a way to deal when life ain't grand

You just pack it up, hang your head, and fold your hand

Mmmm, Hmmmm

She worked all day long on a street named despair

In a town with no pity she was going nowhere

Funny how her heart, well it grew colder and colder

With the weight of thw world, crashin' down on her sholder

But when the goin' gets tough 

And the tough are long gone

Walk on walk on walk on walk on

You can take your words amde of psycho-babble

I don't need no shrink to see my life's unraveled

Pay you a mountain of gold to candy-coat my lies

I'm at the end of my rop, time I realised

That when the goin' gets tough

And the tough are long gone

Just to

Walk on walk on walk on walk on

Walk on walk on 

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Walk on walk on

Yeah yeah yeah

Well I know we ain't seein' the best of times

And I long stopped dreamin' those crazy dreams of mine

These days get so long and my heart grows weak

But honey we ain't livin' on no easy street

But when the goin' gets tough

And the tough are long gone

It's just you and me baby, left to

Walk on walk on walk on walk on Walk on walk on

Yeah yeah yeah yeah 

Walk on walk on

Yeah yeah yeah

Chronicles of Narnia: Price Caspian

I am not sure why I am including my review of the movie here rather than my regular blog, except that it is based on a series a religious novels.

With this movie, they took more liberty than the previous one and have almost overshadowed the story with new scenes that do not contribute to the saga, which is the Chronicles of Narnia.
huge
The fact that Prince Caspian is so much older than in the book is not as distracting as the interjection of the romance between he and Susan and the huge castle invasion which was not in the book.

I was disappointed and am not sure I want to see more in the series.

Living Buddha, Living Christ

I have found the last half of his book very boring and have not really appreciated much of what he had to say. Perhaps it is because I am beginning to find myself in disagreement with him and the fact that he has begun going down some Buddhist roads that I do not see any comparison to Christianity in...as a matter of fact, he discusses Christianity less and less.

I did find a comment he made somewhat interesting and suppose that I am, at the moment at least taking this approach....

He said that it is better perhaps, to approach the understanding of God through mindfulness aka your connection to the Holy Spirit rather than through knowledge and the mind. What the world is telling you bout God rather than what you learn through theology.

Perhaps some theology began with this same mindfulness of God, but how much of it is rationalized and/or not supported by what is and has happened in our world.

Living Buddha, Living Christ

As I have been reading through the Five Precepts of Buddhism, I have seen a new thread in his writing.  Mindfulness has up til now been the focus, but a new overarching theme of interconnectedness has immerged, which I find fascinating.

 

I think it is this interconnectedness of all things which I have been overlooking for so long.  It is not just a Buddhist concept, as The New Testament places a great emphasis on being a part of the BODY.

 

But more than being connected to other believers we are connected to everyone and everything in some way.  This kind of thinking can certainly change the way one makes decisions.

 

 

 

The Chronicles of Narnia

So, I have been reading Jack’s (C. S. Lewis) books again to see how the movie faired. 

 

While I understand the decision to begin with the more famous The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, I do hope they make The Magician’s Nephew.  It is the first book chronologically and has some amazing scenes in it.

 

Speaking of scenes, I was quite impressed with how they changed some of the scenes in the movie adaptation.  They are different but convey the ideas which were covered in more scenes in the book.

 

I am reading A Horse and His Boy tonight.  I want a refresher on what happened in this book which is being skipped over to do Prince Caspian.  Obviously they are doing the movies in the order the books were published.

 

I was always drawn to the final book and the description of what happens at the end, but the creation scene in the first book was equally as moving during Sunday’s reading.

 

Living Buddha, Living Christ

So, chapters 3-5 have not been as rewarding as the first two, but I do have a few insight to share from Thich Nhat Hanh's book.

One observation on mindfulness in daily life, such as when you eat, led to a very profound discussion on the Lord's Supper. It was a reminder that it is not so much abut the way it is performed or even who performs it, but about our reflections and thoughts as a result of this event and it's elements.

It is an oportunity to see where we need to improve in our lives and how well we are living as we should.

A lot of time has been spent on our relationship with our fellow believers and how it is about being mindful of others rather than our own desires. This is certainly so many Churches could learn. If the individual is not living by the Holy Spirit to bring love, understanding and acceptance into their own lives, how can a body of believers work together to these ends as Christ did?

Finding Christ

So, I am up to Chapter 4 now in my book and I thought I would reflect today on Chapter 2.  Thich Nhat Hanh compares mindfulness and the Holy Spirit.  This is an interesting comparison and some of what he says compliments the book I have been using to get started in my meditations.  The first 5 meditations focused on love and God flowing through me…the Holy Spirit.

In Living Christ, Living Buddha, it says that mindfulness or the presence of the Holy Spirit leads us to see and listen deeply, resulting in understanding, acceptance, love and the desire to relieve suffering and bring joy.  This is very much in keeping with the work and life of Christ following his baptism where we are told, the Holy Spirit descended upon him as a dove.

One of the things that comes up repeatedly is living in and appreciating the moment.  This is a concept that I have been exploring as well.  Last week I was looking for the serenity prayer when I discovered something most people in AA do not readily point out…the verse we know as the Serenity Prayer is only about 1/3 of the actual prayer.  It is the last half that I am finding most useful in my own life at the moment.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

One of the things I am coming to understand is how important this moment is and not next week or next year.  It makes life a lot easier.  It is also very helpful in dealing with life, if we remember the Holy Spirit is within us and allow the Holy Spirit to teach us through the people and things around us.

Living (It's been a while)

I can't believe it has been a month since I posted. It was a rough month.

But, I am back now and I will be posting more regularly about my studies and reading. Currently I am reading Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hanh.

Here are a few insights from today's reading of Chapter One.

The premise of this book is to see the beauty in our traditions and others traditions.

One observation made is the difference between our view of knowledge. For example when the Psalms say "Be still and know that I am God," most Christians bring a western idea of gaining wisdom, insight or understanding. Buddhist thinking entails the idea of insight as "Looking deeply." The idea being to observe something or someone so closely that the distinction between the observer and the observed disappears.

I like this concept of knowing, particularly when we think about knowing God. The goal is to be as much like Christ as possible is it not?

Looking deeply at the world and people around us leads us to see how we are inter-related. Barriers between ourselves and others are dissolved and peace, love and understanding are possible. Understanding breeds compassion.

These are not just Buddhist ideas. These are things Christians should recognize and even promote, though some often do not.

Even Religions are inter-related. Study any religion, even Christianity, and you see how other religions have affected them.

John 5:29

So, no one thinks I have abandoned my blog, I thought I would share with you one of the quandaries I have had in my study of Jon recently.  I am currently preparing a stuffy of this book to be published online and as soon as the first installments are completed, I will post them here as well.  It’s taking up most of my current study and writing time.

JOHN 5:28-29

²⁸Do not be astonished at this; for the hour is coming when all who are in their graves will hear his voice ²⁹and will come out—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.

I searched many books, sites and also picked the brains of some friends on this one.  It basically says you will be judged on what you do, which is contradictory to everything else in John.  The following verse one chapter later sums up the conclusions of my friends (No commentary attempted to explain John’s statement).

JOHN 6:28-29

²⁸Then they said to him, ‘What must we do to perform the works of God?’ ²⁹Jesus answered them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in him whom he has sent.’

Good = believing

Evil = NOT believing

If anyone has other thoughts, they would be greatly appreciated.

Joy!

Check It Out

http://feeds.feedburner.com/OhGodImGay

This is a podcast in exactly the same vein as the one I was putting together. I am no longer certain that I need to do mine. However, I m still thinking about it.

Another Mountain Analogy

I have been intrigued by Carrie Underwood's new ballad in which she speaks about how the mountain we are climbing may only be a grain of sand. In some ways, it is comforting and in others it is a little disconcerting to think that there may be bigger mountains out there yet.

Necessity

I feel it necessary to say something, as I have not posted in over a week; however, I have not felt moved by any of my recent reading. I am in the midst of preparing for a Silent retreat February 22-24. I am torn as to how to spend my time of quiet.

One thing that I have felt God saying repeatedly over the last few weeks is "Be still" and of course I immediatey want to comeplete the phrase "and know that I am God." But that is not actually what God has been saying.

Another thing that has been coming up a lot in my thoughts and various Christian circles is the mountain top experience. It has always seemed somewhat odd to me, because I usually have experience by the water's edge. Either way, I have been contemplating whether I have misinterpreted these exeriences or if I have failed to follow through on them.

I will fill you in as I make any progress on this.

What Matters?

There has been a lot of chatter lately on various yahoogroups about whether or not the opinions of others matters regarding sexual orientation.  The fact is that for some it does and for some it doesn’t.  I think it has more to do with where you are in your own life and process of knowing who you are.  It use to matter to me more than it does today.  I am not sure I can say it doesn’t matter at all, but it matters so much less than ever before.

Here is a poem posted to homosexualityandchristianity@yahoogroups.com

Read The Words

My folks asked if I am gay
I asked Does it matter?
They said No, not really
I said Yes
They said Get out of our lives
I guess it Mattered.

My boss asked if I am gay
I asked Does it matter?
My boss said No, not really
I said Yes
My boss said You're fired homo
I guess it mattered.

My friends asked if I am gay
I asked Does it matter?
They said, No, not really
I said Yes
They said, Don't call us your friends
I guess it mattered.

My lover asked Do you love me?
I asked Does it matter?
My lover said Yes.
I said I love you
My lover said Let me hold you in my arms
For the first time in my life
something matters.

My Creator asked me,
Do you love yourself?
I asked Does it matter?
My Creator said YES
I said How can I love myself? I am gay
My Creator said
That is the way I made you
Nothing will ever matter again

Written by an anonymous high school student.

Isaiah 42:4 Justice

I was reading the lectionary texts for last week when I came across Isaiah 42:4,

He will not grow faint or be crushed
until he has established justice in the earth;
and the coastlands wait for his teaching.

It has been some time since I studied Isaiah, but he wrote of the servant to come…the servant in this verse who is going to bring justice. It is without much debate among Christians that Isaiah is referring to the Messiah, who we know as Christ.

This begs the question, what kind of justice is he going to bring? Or better yet, what is justice in the eyes of Jesus?

These questions seem separate yet share a commonality. I think that the answers demonstrate an attitude of loving justice and showing mercy. Christ brought justice, by reconciling our relationship with the Creator. There could be no relationship with the disobedience in our hearts and we have proven time and again that we are not capable of overcoming it ourselves.

A study of Christ’s interaction with “sinners” shows not only what he saw as just, but also that he loved mercy. A prime example of course is the woman caught in adultery. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” To me this is a prime example of where mankind has gone so very wrong in trying to follow Christ. Rather than accept, love and try to bring justice to the world, they seek to have others conform to their view of what is right and wrong. That was not the call of Christ. The call of Christ was for justice…for mercy...for love.

I find this a particularly fitting discussion as I look at my calendar today. It’s is Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday today. I have had this in the back of my mind all weekend, but since my company is working today, I did not think about the correlation until now. Part of me wishes that I could be with my church today as they march in the parade and part of me would rather leave this to those who were there during his time. While I certainly am grateful for what his life has accomplished for the greater good of our country, I was not there and suppose to some degree do not have as much to mourn and/or celebrate as those who were. Yet, I do feel the need to be there and to be a part of remembering this great leader for equality/justice even amidst the continued fight for such goes on today.

Thoughts on beginning the year...

I have condensed here some thoughts from the Editor of The Inspiriter which is a quarterly publication of the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists (www.wabaptists.org). This particular editorial was written by JoAnne C. Juett in the Winter 2007 issue.

Fear. Beginning a new year, contemplating all those resolutions, evaluating
the past year, should lead one to excitement and new resolve—but I think these
rather succumb to uncertainty and fear in short order. We humans don’t do so
well with uncertainty...even as we faithfully make those resolutions to lose
weight, exercise more, and eat more healthily, how do we face such overarching
fears?

First, we remember that the “fear factor” is part and parcel of our
spirituality. Not that we should be afraid of God or God’s power—we should
always stand in awe of that, of course; but, facing the unknown is always a
fearful event. Look at all those biblical angelic visits that prompted a lot of
fear and trembling—in the long run, most of those brought awesome visions, great
joy, and exciting possibilities. What was the key? The powerful presence of God
(however we experience that); that power that some invoke to frighten and
manipulate is really the power for good and great things to happen!

Secondly, we must be courageous and willing to forge ahead, even
against the odds.

Thirdly, we must embrace and celebrate all the good and all the
positive.

Yes, for all the darkness, there is always a great light. As I
write this editorial, I remind myself that I am in the season of Epiphany—the
time of celebration of light, that great metaphoric image of goodness,
knowledge, and hope. It’s my favorite season, even if it does come in the midst
of winter in Wisconsin for me! Epiphany allows me to look beyond the despair of
failures and setbacks of previous months to find hope and possibility in the
year ahead.

That’s what I wish for all of you—hope and fulfillment of great visions
for this year. May God’s presence be with you, guide you and empower
you through these coming months in your individual journeys and as we walk
together in celebration. Great things are yet to come!

Gay Marriage

Here is a brief article from http://www.wabaptists.org/voto.htm that sums up some of my own feelings on the subject. I think he could be a little more articulate but the main points are certainly there.

Some Thoughts on Marriage and Domestic Partnership
Comment by Chris Boisvert

I recently participated in a rather unorthodox wedding. The wedding was in Las Vegas and had a Star Trek theme. Everyone in the wedding party wore a Star Trek Star Fleet uniform. There were cast members dressed as Klingon, Ferengi and Andorian characters. The minister even wore a uniform. The fun nature of the wedding wasn't meant to detract from the serious nature of marriage or the commitment of the two people who were taking the steps to share their lives. There will be a church wedding in the Philippines in December, but U.S. law requires a civil marriage on American soil for it to be legal since the bride is not a U.S. citizen. It was decided by the couple that this would be a fun and exciting way to deal with the civil requirement.
Many nations make the distinction between the civil marriage of two people and the religions ceremony of a wedding. Yet in the United States where we talk of the separation of church and state, the two are linked in the mind of many people. I wholeheartedly support same sex marriage, yet I do not believe that religious bodies should or ever would be required by the state to perform such ceremonies. Yet, if we truly believed in the separation of church and state in this country, we should be able to better see that the legal and religious aspects of what bonds two people together are separate.California recently enacted the a change to the tax law that allows same sex domestic partners within the state to have equal tax benefits to married heterosexual couples. In California, same sex couples wishing to marry still not do so. That distinction goes to Massachusetts alone. Yet, like Vermont, another California has moved to the cusp with the latest additions to the rights extended to domestic partners. I believe that the focus should be on rights of equality at this time, rather than need to for those rights to be wrapped up in a bundle called marriage. I feel that more can be accomplished this way than to insist that the only way we can be equal is with the label "marriage."

Homosexuality and the Bible

This is one of the best written articles I have read on the topic:
http://www.soulforce.org/article/homosexuality-bible-walter-wink

Ephesians 1:3-14 The Difference

This passage which is in my Bible class’ study this week (1/4) was at first confusing because it seems to run on. The reason for this, is that it was originally one sentence in the original language.

As Paul begins his prayer he begins with a blessing, the berakhah, which I believe my friend AJ Jacobs refered to in his excellent book. The berakhah take son special meaning here as Paul includes Christ in what was a traditional Jewish blessing. For more on the berakhah and many of these types of blessings, go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berakhah.

Along the way, this passage which includes the repetition of praise speaks to an important question, "How central is Jesus to my faith?" or better yet, "What do you do differently in your everyday life because of your commitment to Christ?"

Thomas Adams says it this way:

Our mind is where our pleasure is, our heart is where our treasure is, our love is where our life is,

but all these, our pleasure, treasure and life, are reposed in Jesus Christ.

I had to look up that word reposed. Reposed means: peace; tranquillity; calm. To lay to rest, rest. Basically, he is saying what Paul is telling us. We find our peace when Christ is central in our lives.

Ephesians 1:3-14

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4just as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless before him in love. 5He destined us for adoption as his children through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace that he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace 8that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and insight 9he has made known to us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure that he set forth in Christ, 10as a plan for the fullness of time, to gather up all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. 11In Christ we have also obtained an inheritance, having been destined according to the purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to his counsel and will, 12so that we, who were the first to set our hope on Christ, might live for the praise of his glory. 13In him you also, when you had heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and had believed in him, were marked with the seal of the promised Holy Spirit; 14this is the pledge of our inheritance towards redemption as God’s own people, to the praise of his glory.

Romans 6:1-11 Law, Love or No Law

Back in December I spoke on this topic and today as I was reading the Lectionary texts for this Sunday, I cam across the following passage which sheds some more light on my discussion. While Paul previously said all things are permissible, he gives us an argument for following the Law as well.

Romans 6:1-11

1What then are we to say? Should we continue in sin in order that grace may abound? ²By no means! How can we who died to sin go on living in it? ³Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴Therefore we have been buried with him by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in newness of life.

5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ⁶We know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be destroyed, and we might no longer be enslaved to sin. ⁷For whoever has died is freed from sin. ⁸But if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. ⁹We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. ¹⁰The death he died, he died to sin, once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. ¹¹So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

2 Samuel 24:18-25: Sacrifice

It has been sometime since I recorded my thoughts here and I do not recall where I was when I came upon this reading, but it hit me squarely in the eye.

King David was unwilling to make a sacrifice that cost him nothing. It dawned on me that so many times when I thought I was making a sacrifice for my faith, I in fact was not. You have to give up something for it to be a sacrifice. Going to school was not a sacrifice because my family paid for it all. Even serving overseas and in various other places was not a sacrifice, because I was well compensated and I wanted to be where I was.

Perhaps I have not yet made any sacrifices for God. I have certainly made some sacrifices to be myself, but I am not sure that has much to do with Spiritual sacrifice.

2 Samuel 24:18-25

18 That day Gad came to David and said to him, ‘Go up and erect an altar to the Lord on the threshing-floor of Araunah the Jebusite.’ ¹⁹Following Gad’s instructions, David went up, as the Lord had commanded. ²⁰When Araunah looked down, he saw the king and his servants coming towards him; and Araunah went out and prostrated himself before the king with his face to the ground. ²¹Araunah said, ‘Why has my lord the king come to his servant?’ David said, ‘To buy the threshing-floor from you in order to build an altar to the Lord, so that the plague may be averted from the people.’ ²²Then Araunah said to David, ‘Let my lord the king take and offer up what seems good to him; here are the oxen for the burnt-offering, and the threshing-sledges and the yokes of the oxen for the wood. ²³All this, O king, Araunah gives to the king.’ And Araunah said to the king, ‘May the Lord your God respond favourably to you.’

24 But the king said to Araunah, ‘No, but I will buy them from you for a price; I will not offer burnt-offerings to the Lord my God that cost me nothing.’ So David bought the threshing-floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver. ²⁵David built there an altar to the Lord, and offered burnt-offerings and offerings of well-being. So the Lord answered his supplication for the land, and the plague was averted from Israel.

Ephesians 3: 1-12 Epiphany

As we approach Epiphany and look at the coming of God as man, I think that the passage from Paul which is also in the lectionary reading this week is especially appropriate.  The Magi brought gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.  What do each of us have to bring?

This is something I have been contemplating a lot lately, as I seek to return to the ministry.  I feel especially led to let the GLBT community know they do not have to give up their faith…Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, whatever because of their sexual orientation.  However, I have not yet found that place where I feel I can serve God and survive financially. 

It is an odd feeling to know your purpose but not being able to fulfill it.

Ephesians 3:1-12

Paul’s Ministry to the Gentiles

3This is the reason that I Paul am a prisoner for^* Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles— ²for surely you have already heard of the commission of God’s grace that was given to me for you, ³and how the mystery was made known to me by revelation, as I wrote above in a few words, ⁴a reading of which will enable you to perceive my understanding of the mystery of Christ. ⁵In former generations this mystery^* was not made known to humankind, as it has now been revealed to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit: ⁶that is, the Gentiles have become fellow-heirs, members of the same body, and sharers in the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

7Of this gospel I have become a servant according to the gift of God’s grace that was given to me by the working of his power. ⁸Although I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given to me to bring to the Gentiles the news of the boundless riches of Christ, ⁹and to make everyone see^* what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in^* God who created all things; ¹⁰so that through the church the wisdom of God in its rich variety might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. ¹¹This was in accordance with the eternal purpose that he has carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord, ¹²in whom we have access to God in boldness and confidence through faith in him.^*